Discouraged

For the next week or so I'm going to be putting up old blog posts from my other blog that I think are relevant here.

This first post is from before I knew I had GERD.
Originally posted on January 24th, 2011

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I am throughly discouraged. I've been sick for about 2 months now, I've tried not eating milk or gluten, and I'm on a double dose of acid reducers, and I still feel awful! The only options I feel I have left is to go to a gastroenterologist and see what they have to say or go to a fellow called Paul Rosen that my friend recommended who will take my life apart. I don't like either of those options and more importantly I don't think either one will work. And even if they do it's going to be at least six weeks before I show any signs of improvement. I can't waste that much time!

   At first I though this would be annoying but we could figure it our fairly fast or it would resolve itself. It's two months later now with no end in sight and it's having an enormous impact on my life; I don't want to and see no point to going to school, A trip I was excited about taking to go see some of my friends in Seattle this weekend I'm canceling because it's more trouble than it's worth, and I'm breaking down in tears at least three times a week, which is throughly embarrassing and, more to the point, not like me.

   I'm just stuck, and I don't know what to do, and I don't see myself having any sort of future, certainly not one I like. And I'm really afraid, I don't want to be this uncomfortable forever and it feels awfully like the bad old days.

   I have two term projects to work on this weekend plus application stuff and I just don't know how I'm going to do it.